The Hallway Epidemic

Lately, there seems to be an epidemic going around school, rude hallway goers. I’ve noticed four specific types of rude hall walkers; “the stoppers”, “the shovers”, “the texters” and my personal favorite the “I’m too cool to walk any faster” people.

Let’s start with the stoppers. These people can be classified as people who chose to stop walking right in the middle of the hallway or foyer. I have observed various reasons for stopping in the middle of the hall such as talking with friends, trying to get something out of a backpack or waiting for a significant other. Let’s analyze one of these situations: you just heard that Johnny is going to ask Kathy to homecoming and you REALLY need to tell Beth because she likes Johnny. When you see Beth in the hall do you either,

 A. scream the information across the hall to her

B. tell her you need to speak to her later

C. Pull her out to the side of the hall to break the news

D. Do a dead stop in the middle of the hall and break the news to her as the two of you stand there

If you picked B or C, you have the right idea, congratulations! “The stoppers” on the other hand, would have picked D, the incorrect answer. If there is something that needs to be said, there is a better place to discuss that information in middle of the hallway during passing time. We are only given five minutes and to some people, such as myself, those five minutes are crucial and actually used to pass between classes in an adequate amount of time.

The next hallway nuisances that I have observed are the shovers. These people can be categorized as people who are so impatient that they decide they have authority over everyone and push innocent walkers out of the way to get to their destination. I have to admit, even I am guilty of this sometimes, but only if I see “stoppers” (see above) and I have no other option. The REAL shovers, however, are the people that are in a line of people walking at a slow, but normal hallway pace, and then proceed to grab backpacks, shoulders, arms, etc. and push them across the hall so as to make their own path. These people not only annoy the person that is being shoved, but also the people who are having others shoved onto them.  This causes unnatural hallway flow, and sometimes even some bruises.

“Omg, did u see what Cindy is wearing? She looks like a total dirty.” You all are smart people, is that text what you would consider urgent? I wouldn’t! There is no need for texting in the middle of the hallway. I don’t care if you think it doesn’t make a difference if you are texting or not, I guarantee that by texting, you are making yourself and every single unfortunate person walk slower. Maneuvering the halls is like operating a car, texting and walking not only causes slowing, but collisions and many times swerving. It’s dangerous, people! Don’t text and walk!

Last but certainly not least, my favorite of the hallway annoyances are the glaciers who think that they are way too cool to walk any faster. There are many characteristics that qualify a “too-good-for-you snail”, as I like to call them. They can typically be identified as an extremely slow walker who flashes you a dirty look when you try to pass, or chooses to be extremely rude and not acknowledge the fact that someone is trying to pass them in the first place. These people are easily identifiable; they are often listening to headphones, many times they have a swing to absurdly slow walk, and almost always travel in packs. Beware!

The goal of passing time is to get from point A to point B, don’t let yourself become one of these people! If reading this has made you identify yourself as a rude hallway walker, there is always time to change!

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