My Second Teary-Eyed Post about How Much Growing Up Sucks

A while back, my parents were seriously considering moving into a new house. It’s no secret that I have a fear of change but something about the thought of moving made me want to crawl up into a ball and cry. It wasn’t until today that I figured out why I have such a fear of leaving; this house has all of my memories. I have lived in the same house for 13 years and I feel like my whole childhood is here.

Childhood is something we try desperately to hang on to, but can never get back. Santa won’t become any more real, no matter how many times we watch the Polar Express and we can try really hard but it is impossible to feel as innocent as we did at the age of six. For me, it is an everyday battle between childhood and adulthood. I feel like every ten seconds something else is being shoved in my face that says “You’re an adult now.” But all I want is to be a kid again. Is that so wrong? 

For one day I would love to get my jammies on and sit in my daddy’s lap while we watch “The Wizard of Oz” and have his shoulder to lean in to when the wicked witch comes on the screen. Unfortunately, I can’t, I’ve grown out of that stage of my life and am being shoved into adulthood as every day goes by. While I’m sitting here crying as I write this, the song ‘Never Grow Up’ by Taylor Swift is stuck in my head “Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. Just stay this little. Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up. It could stay this simple.” I wish it were that easy “never grow up” and BAM back to tricycles and nap time, but it’s not and we’re growing up whether we like it or not.

Because I’m not Peter Pan, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to grow up but that childhood doesn’t have to leave forever and maybe if we wish on enough shooting stars we can find that magic that we once knew. Until then we need to try to find the joy in the things that we used to find amazing and wonderful, it may not be exactly the same but the photo albums, and Disney classics will always possess the magic that we once knew no matter what, we just have to look for it.

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